If you’ve ever found yourself saying, “I hate selling,” you’re not alone. Most of the folks I work with didn’t start their businesses because they loved pitching. They started because they loved helping. But when the referrals from friends and family slow down, things get quiet. And suddenly, “word of mouth” doesn’t cut it anymore. Knowing how to talk about your services in a way that lands becomes essential.
Most people don’t make decisions based on logic alone. They make decisions based on what makes them feel safe, seen, or in control. Different people need different things to feel confident saying yes. And once you understand those differences, your entire sales approach becomes a lot more human and a lot less “salesy.”
And that’s exactly why I created the CARE code tool. This deceptively simple tool was one of the foundational pieces in our From Pain Point to Pitch workshop. It’s not about scripts. It’s not about scarcity tactics. It’s about understanding. Specifically, understanding how your potential clients make decisions. And how you can meet them there without twisting yourself into someone you’re not.
So, who C.A.R.E.s?
The CARE Code is a way of seeing your audience through a behavioral lens. It stands for Clarity Seeker, Action Taker, Rule Follower, and Empathizer. This tool is a Moment-Based Lens. A filter for understanding what your prospect needs right now in order to feel ready to take action.
Quite note: Most people are a mix of types, but one usually leads the way depending on the decision at hand.
Clarity Seeker
These are your overthinkers. The ones who won’t book without reading all 187 reviews… twice. They want to understand the process before they trust the outcome. If things feel vague or overly “visionary,” they’ll smile politely and ghost you the next day.
During a recent HVAC nightmare that came with a $24K price tag and a 5-day disruption to my home, I realized I became a full-blown Clarity Seeker. I needed a timeline, a cost breakdown, and proof this wasn’t going to spiral.
To connect with Clarity Seekers, focus on:
- Walking them through your process
- Offering examples, timelines, or case studies
- Giving them something to hold onto—because that’s how they hold trust
Action Taker
Action Takers are fast-moving, results-driven, and deeply impatient with long windups. If your pitch starts with six disclaimers and a personal journey, they’re already checking their email. They trust momentum.
To be honest, I only show up as an Action Taker when tacos are involved. I Google, skim the top result. If its in my price range and there’s no wait time, I’m in. No further research needed.
To connect with Action Takers, focus on:
- Leading with the outcome
- Skipping the preamble. Get to the point
- Making it ridiculously easy to say yes
Rule Follower
These folks are the structure-seekers. They want things to be clean, orderly, and well-documented. If something feels inconsistent they get uncomfortable. For example, if they read something online (and believe me they have!) and you tell them something different in person, you’ve lost their trust.
They’re not uptight. They just rely on consistency to build trust. If you’re a little “go with the flow,” this audience might need a little extra reassurance before buying in.
To connect with Rule Followers, focus on:
- Clearly defined systems, policies, and expectations
- Sharing credentials or testimonials
- Keeping things clean and consistent across the board
Empathizer
And then there are the feelers. The people who are buying your why. This group is often your core audience if you work in coaching, healthcare, nonprofit, or healing spaces.
Empathizers want to know that you see them. Not just as a lead, but as a full person. They’re reading between the lines of your messaging, looking for resonance. And if it’s not there, they’ll move on. Even if your offer is perfect on paper.
To connect with Empathizers, focus on:
- Telling your story and sharing your motivations
- Showing that you care about people, not just profit
- Reflecting values they can relate to
When people come to you in a moment of vulnerability, it’s not just a transaction for them. It’s a trust exchange. That requires warmth, not just professionalism.
If this all feels vaguely familiar, it’s because it is. I adapted the BANK code breaker system based on the feedback I received from clients.
Try This:
Think about a recent purchase you made. What lens were you using to make that decision? Were you craving details, speed, structure, or connection?
Now flip it. What lens is your audience likely using when they come to you?
This is a tool to reduce friction. You can download a copy of your own here. If you can anticipate what your people need to feel ready, you don’t have to “convince” anyone of anything. You just need to show up in a way that meets them where they are.
Because when you learn how to talk about your services in your client’s language, you don’t need gimmicks. You don’t need pressure. You just need honesty, clarity, and care.
Next up: We’ll take this lens and map it onto your full customer journey. Every touchpoint is a chance to build (or lose) trust. But for now, start here:
Use this mantra: “If I can name their pain point, I can earn their trust.”
